Missive from the Amazon: How not to internet date: IM edition, Part II.
When I said I like it when guys reference specific information from my profile in their initial messages, I didn’t really think I needed to spell out in excruciating detail that said references should express complete, coherent thoughts that invite a response. Apparently, not all truths are self-evident.
Crush’s first message was a prime example of how to do it. But there’s a good deal of shit in my profile that could give a dude an “in.” For instance, since I mention being a Cubs fan, referencing the crappy season those overpaid bums have had, or how I probably would enjoy banging my head against a brick wall more than watching their bullpen work, might get my attention in a good way. This, however, will not:
(10:43:30 am)HI_IM_CLUELESS: OH! HOLY COW
Tell me, Clueless, how exactly am I to respond to that IM? I mean, my first thought was, “Harry Caray’s been dead for over a decade, so that’s not exactly a timely reference, is it?” Also, would you walk up to me in a bar and just yell that at me? (Actually, based on how men in this town, upon seeing my Cubs tattoo, have a predilection for yelling that very thing at me with the apparent expectation that I’ll immediately run over and hump them, you just might.)
I gave Clueless the same response I give the braindead rejects who yell at me on the street: crickets. Not to be deterred, he came back around for another try later that same day:
(6:12:50 pm)HI_IM_CLUELESS: YOUR RED HAIR IS AMAZON
Attempted wordplay, or sign of brain damage? You decide.
