Greetings, dearest readers, and happy fucking new year.
My apologies for leaving you for so long without any new tales of the stupid side of online dating. Things have been a tad wonky around these parts, what with the holidays and all they entailed this year. Rest assured, I will endeavor to share with you all the cringe inducing, ridiculously obtuse, painfully stupid and make-you-wish-we-had-forced-sterilization correspondence I get (and have gotten) from the increasingly shallow OK Cupid dating pool. It’s sure to be a hoot.
Just to whet your appetite, here’s a lovely and romantic message I received on December 23 from someone I’ll graciously call superjerkoff:
I’m not Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bedrock!
Isn’t that sweet? And totally in keeping with the season of giving. Plus, is there any more effective image to invoke when trying to hook up with strangers on the internet than a beloved childhood cartoon about a loud, obnoxious fat dude?